Little Person, Big Emotions
Anxiety and anger are powerful emotions that can evoke all sorts of responses. Adding to the complexity, they can overlap at times so that the anxiety is hiding underneath the shield of anger.
The body sends a signal to the brain and the brain's response is to scream: "You are in danger!" This fight or flight mechanism helped us immensely during our caveman days, when we needed these signals to survive an attack from a wild animal. But, in most situations these days, this response is a false alarm. But it's a false alarm that can feel very real! Heart racing, shortness of breath, trembling in arms and legs, tingling in fingers are just a few examples of what can happen when anxiety takes over. These reactions - in and of themselves - can be so scary to children that they actually increase the anger and anxiety, making it debilitating.
What's more, often times anger and anxiety cannot be explained or rationalized away.
Our instinct is to tell children:
"You'll be okay. It's just a short book report. Everyone has to do it."
"There is nothing to worry about - Mommy will never forget to pick you up from school."
"We are not going to get into a car accident! I will even drive extra carefully so you won't have to worry."
"Calm down. You will be okay."
But with kids who really struggle with anxiety and anger, these explanations are just not enough.
The body sends a signal to the brain and the brain's response is to scream: "You are in danger!" This fight or flight mechanism helped us immensely during our caveman days, when we needed these signals to survive an attack from a wild animal. But, in most situations these days, this response is a false alarm. But it's a false alarm that can feel very real! Heart racing, shortness of breath, trembling in arms and legs, tingling in fingers are just a few examples of what can happen when anxiety takes over. These reactions - in and of themselves - can be so scary to children that they actually increase the anger and anxiety, making it debilitating.
What's more, often times anger and anxiety cannot be explained or rationalized away.
Our instinct is to tell children:
"You'll be okay. It's just a short book report. Everyone has to do it."
"There is nothing to worry about - Mommy will never forget to pick you up from school."
"We are not going to get into a car accident! I will even drive extra carefully so you won't have to worry."
"Calm down. You will be okay."
But with kids who really struggle with anxiety and anger, these explanations are just not enough.
Help for Children with Anxiety and Anger
Fortunately, there is help for children with anxiety and anger. Children have the ability to gain an awareness of their feelings and become empowered to gain control over this powerful emotion.
Your child can be a Worry Warrior!
I use a blend of play therapy, Mindfulness, Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) techniques, and innovative "brain- based" strategies coming from the latest in neuroscience. Parent-Child Therapy and Theraplay techniques are also sometimes indicated for children with anxiety.
Help for Parents
Parent and family sessions will give you resources and tools to help your child take control of the anger and anxiety. You will be given tools and phrases to use for those times when you just don't know what to do or say.
Parent and family sessions will give you resources and tools to help your child take control of the anger and anxiety. You will be given tools and phrases to use for those times when you just don't know what to do or say.
